if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.
he would be ur fed ex
I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that
have you ever had to restart a song because you spaced out and weren’t appreciating it enough
So at work yesterday we only had pink spoons to hand out for the frozen yogurt and every male asked if we had a different color spoon because they did not like pink and it’s femininity and lemme tell u that this proves boys are weak and a fuckjng pink spoon proved that
if u snapchat me expecting me to look cute i have bad news for u
shopping for clothes is only fun when you’re rich and skinny
job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job
a guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and that she’ll never find a boyfriend.